Looking at the drawing I feel brighter, more empowered, a bit unraveled... relief... inspired... promising ... aspirant
At first I felt "damn a heart? How clique " but I just let the brush lead... its the symbols I always draw when I doodle, but they felt different- more vibrant.
It felt light like letting go of breath while the other felt tight and dark- holding breath
That I can want me and hold me and send out the energy of whole instead of broken vibrant instead of dull achey need... color and attract drawing in like color
that what is birthed of fear doesn't need to continue in fear... that vibrant and whole can birth from dark and broken that others fear isn't mine to carry
Bright and promising and then early and wounding that I'm meant to be in this body on this planet at this time... that its safe to inhabit my body and enjoy and love it... that I will leave it soon enough - enjoy it while I'm here
changing what the symbols mean to me... open and drowning instead of nervous habits
Not reaching for whoever can make me feel good then being held by the knives of my own creation letting go of the same of abuse, violence and letting it in... that darkness that was given was also a gift... that i can take the lesson and the beauty of the gift without judging myself and my decisions ... that my experiences make me rich and vibrant not damaged... that broken is beautiful and just a new way to be whole, that the whole of me is still there shining even if its shattered... I'm still me and still valuable, loved, wanted, embraced.
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