Equine Journey 1- Give Us Just One of Those Moments

Give us just one of those moments

Last night I learned a daisy knot…

The horses wear masks to keep the flies off, they can see out but I can’t see in…

 

We took off his mask as I haltered him, I saw his beautiful brown eyes so deep, so kind…

I’ve seen those eyes before, the look of calm and caring…

As people around us talked, I leaned in and smelled his neck…

My nose filling with what smells like home…

I love touching his soft cheek, his jaw strong and steady…

The soft feel beneath my fingers…

He nuzzles me too…

I smell again, breathing and deep…

Then he nuzzles me again…

Maybe he knows the tender memories it brings me…

We walk together, me leading, but him right beside me…

Sometimes his steps get a head and I slow him…

 

Maybe he mirrors the way I get ahead of myself…

 

Maybe this is what rising in love feels like...

I know this is just a moment in time…

 

That he gives of himself to many others…

But for this moment the love affair is just ours to share.

8-18-21

I am reading this poem on my YouTube channel... The Mess and The Bliss... released today 11-28-21

I Dont Want to Let it Get Away From Me

I don't want to let it get away from me...

Those moments where I feel seen...

The moments I can laugh with no fear of judgment...

The knowing glances...

the brush of a hand that sets my skin tingling...

I don't want to let it get away from me...

The conversations that last for hours, and the ones where nothing is said, but all is known...

I don't want to let it get away from me...

The smell of rain in the valley, the slight chilll in the air, the twinkle lights in our yard, the deer that stops to share eye contact...

I don't want to let it get away from me...

The tenderness I still feel when I walk into the kitchen, and the screen door slams, and you're not there to greet me with a dishtowel over your shoulder... 

Your shrug and smile with the wink of your eye...

I don't want to let it get away from me...

7-19-21

I read this poem on my YouTube channel ... The Mess and The Bliss... recorded 8-14-21

Last Night The Rain Spoke To Me

Last night the rain spoke to me...

Lately it seems the summer rain has been courting me...

Coming by in the evenings for a few hours, or sometimes just a few moments...

Bringing me the cool fresh air to breathe in...

Sometimes speaking loudly with claps of thunder to draw my attention...

Sometimes the faint whispers sprinkling on the windows...

Sometimes the sound of its arrival excites me, and I hurry to the porch to share in the moisturizing of the valley...

Sometimes the rhythm of the drops on the roof lull me to sleep, and the encircling of its presence cuddles me as a dream...

I know its a fleeting romance, that our time is for a season, but for now I'll hold space for this love affair in my life...

I'll enjoy the smells of the fresh air, the touch of soft droplets on my skin, and the steamy embrace of the humid air holding me tight.

8-4-21

I am reading this poem on my YouTube Channel... "The Mess and The Bliss" recorded Aug. 29, 2021

What If...

What if...

sitting in this valley brought you back.

What if...

The air I breathe here was once your breath.

What if...

The hummingbirds playing tag around me were sent by you.

What if...

Under this tree is where you come to meet me, and whisper in my ear. 

What if...

Each step my foot takes on the gravel roads reminds the earth of your steps before me. 

What if...

The grass under my toes today comes back each year to look for you.

What if...

The rocks I paint lavender and teal are rocks that were underneath the hooves of Lucy, as you rode the valley in summers just like this. 

What if...

The lilac bush your mother planted long before I was born was planted for my nose to remember you.

What if...

The restless sleep I feel here is because you no longer sleep in this old family home. 

What if...

Knowing you rest just up the hill going out of town, and I can see that place from here, gives me comfort. 

What if...

The taste of fresh grown tomatoes reminds me of the warm summer days in this valley.

What if...

Although my eyes no longer see you in the flesh, or my hands no longer touch you, I feel your soul still touching mine.

8-9-21

I am reading this poem on my Youtube channel... "The Mess and The Bliss"... recorded on Aug. 11, 2021

Dandelions

Dandelions

I always felt bad for dandelions, I thought they got a bad rap...

They were the unwanted weeds in your lawn, but I loved the bright yellow spark of color they added...

I loved the way we picked them, and held them up under our chins...

And if it cast yellow on our child soft skin, it meant we liked butter...

Was that it? that's how I remember it...

But who doesn't like butter...

When my friend's dad passed we sat on their kitchen counters, we each had our own cube of butter and dipped the rolls in them...

Butter became even more soothing then...

And a couple years later when my mom passed, my friend brought me a small gift bag with a cube of butter in it to the viewing...

My eyes filled with tears, and I felt seen and loved...

The most beautiful moments are so simple and smothered in butter...

6-14-21

I am reading this poem on my YouTube channel "My Mess and The Bliss" -recorded Aug 23, 2021

I Am Drinking The Sun

 I am drinking the sun...

I keep looking at the raw honey jar on my counter, I'm so excited to eat some...

We just got it shipped from our writing friend Jen in Georgia...

I keep thinking it's almost like traveling...

I wonder when I taste it...

If I'll taste the fragrance of Georgia flowers...

If I'll smell Georgia rain...

If I'll feel the souls of the bees who made it...

If I'll feel the humid Georgia air or the light breeze that moves the pollen...

I can almost feel the giddiness of Jen, see the sprinkle of her smile as she had her first harvest...

Feel the love she's put into these bees, and the love they made into honey...

She's transforming her sorrow into sweet honey...

Maybe raw Georgia honey is what raw love tastes like.

7-12-21

I am reading this poem on my YouTube channel "The Mess and The Bliss" recorded on Aug 21, 2021

Someone Has Written Something New In The Ashes Of Your Life

 Someone has written something new in the ashes of your life...

Life has a way of burning you to the ground, a way of scorching your very soul...

Is it to burn your debris, to get rid of what holds you back...

And slowly as your lungs are filled with smoke, and your eyes red from the ash...

Someone sees beyond the burnt rubble, and they write new possibilities in your ashes...

They draw joy where sorrow was...

They draw love where loneliness lived...

They draw hope and belief and potential, they brush and blow away what clouds your vision...

They see you so clearly that you can almost see yourself in their eyes.

7-12-21

Recorded me reading this on my YouTube Channel "The Mess and The Bliss" -  recorded Aug 19, 2021

Evidence We Are Not The Same As We Were

 Evidence we are not the same as we were...

Losing someone in this realm changes us...

I know deep inside that I am whole, as I am...

Yet each loss feels like pieces of me are taken...

Maybe its how we slowly transition to the other side...

Maybe we don't pass all at once, instead piece by piece until the last big release...

There are parts of me gone before, maybe creating space for my arrival someday...

The pieces of me still here adapting to what's left, and hopefully reinventing me and growing...

Finding new ways to be me...

Learning to love what still is, and what can still be created...

Maybe as each piece transitions, the others greet her and say "oh look how you've grown, lets find how we beautifully fit back together" 

5/14/21

I am reading this poem on my YouTube channel ... "The Mess And The Bliss" recorded June 1, 2021

The Flame Now Alive Under My Skin

 The flame now alive under my skin...

I feel the slow burn in me, the faint fire in my soul...

Sometimes it burns so wild and free, yet so easily is doused and muted by the held breath, the holding back of oxygen...

Sometimes the flames are fanned from many directions, the heat rising in hypnotic joy, and then what...

The energy shifts and slows to a barely alive ember, and I become cold again...

I'm used to this cycle, the passion of heat, and the bite of frost...

The cold hibernating, my creating, slowing my spark... 

And each time I fear it was my last flare of heat, that it may never burn wild again...

So I slowly look for the sticks that may stoke the fire, and gently blow the embers back to life.  

6-16-21

 

We Cannot Help It But We Love Other Waters

 We cannot help it but we love other waters...

While I am rooting myself here to find my depth, I long for other places, other smells, other tastes...

I snuggle into this space planting plants, and pushing my hands in the soil hoping to strong grounding...

Yet dreaming of my body in other places...

My feet in the san, waves kissing my toes...

My lungs inhaling air filled with a cool fragrance of trees in the mountains...

Life feeling new and fresh yet somehow familiar...

I want to walk on the old cobble streets, where others walked years and years ago...

I want to touch trees that were planted by people long gone, and plant some for those yet to come...

I dream of floating on water so calm its like sleeping in your arms.

5-21-21

This is also on my YouTube channel... The Mess and The Bliss...  recorded in May 2021