When I think about my loss, I am afraid that I will always be unwanted, alone, and not enough to be fully truly loved by someone... that I won't be enough to accomplish my purpose and be worthwhile... that i will always long for love and can't even love myself enough to not worry about others.
1. not really surprised by what came up... I knew those were my fears... they haunt me all the time.
2. Every relationship that ends... unwanted staff leave.. abandonment kids move... abandonment people don't reach for me... unwanted, not valued, people are agitated ... i take it personally...
3. my gut is where I feel it... deep like a punch that takes my breath away... it also aches deep in my heart like its oozing blood.
4. In my gut I'm chubby, I think in a big part as a protection to keep my solar plexus protected to keep pain away from the source of me, my belly button where my connection stated
5. It felt sad and overwhelming with feeling of not knowing how to kill the room to my fear, of seeing a week... knowing its bullshit but not knowing how to get rid of it for good... how to replace it with a beautiful garden of worth, love, acceptance, surrounded... supported... vibrant... abundant... infinite love joy bliss
6. The root of fears has grown so deep in the rich soil & it grows deeper and stronger and thicker... it consumes my thoughts and feelings...
7. the root is bland but grows in rich abundant soil filled with judgment... deception and hurt the week reaches and grabs for love in the bright blue world but its ignored and unreached for back because who wants to pick a weed?
8. the root of fear is bigger and stronger and grows
9. stop nurturing the week and root... stop feeding it with hyper grow
10. no... they are the beliefs that pop up on a regular basis... they are deep in my soul.
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