This horse I don't know his name...
We were to paint on his side like a canvas...
The time we felt safe, I drew a house with a heart...
My mama's house, I felt safe...
My home with my children, I felt safe with a circle of love protecting us...
Then we drew a time we felt unsafe, I drew a wedding ring the letters MRS, and then three small hearts to represent the three women who I felt saved me- my victims advocate, my therapist, and a friend who worked at jail...
The horse was mostly patient as I drew, some stomping and twitching....
Some uneasy backing up, and moving forward...
Some snuggling his head into me so I could lean in, and smell his neck for comfort...
As it was my turn to talk about my painting, the horse had my painting hidden against the fence...
It was a struggle to get to, like it's a struggle to show my pain...
When I rinsed him off, the picture remained on his side...
The colors were gone, but the picture remained, less colorful, less prominent, but still there...
That night I awoke in the middle of the night with an aha...
My safe place has never been with a man.
9-10-21
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